Just got back from a funeral – it has been a very long day and a very traumatic one at that! A close family friend died and I agreed to go to the funeral – not thinking about the closeness of the funerals at the beginning of the year ! All was well until the burial – the person whose father it was and his brothers and sister were in pieces and it all came flooding back ! I struggled then…..we walked back to the cars and went to the wake – I could only stay an hour and made my excuses and came away and drove the 120 miles home !
All the way home my mind was on my godmother’s death at xmas last year – what had happened since etc – I couldn’t focus and had to pull over on two occasions !
Got home and hubbie had cleaned the flat and done the washing – bless him! Having driven the 240 miles round trip, all I needed was a hug !
Had to come on line to pay the IVA extra payment for overtime …..that got me thinking too……stupid thoughts about how silly we had been, and guilt set in once again ! But then actually – having reading others blog updates – I now realise that I am in the same position as lots others, but have the support of this wonderful forum ! Thank you- ramble over

For those that have read my blog, 2010 has been a difficult year – with two deaths in 24 hours within the family. In the midst of all of this happening I have found out that I am due to inherit some money ! This will go some way to clearing my IVA – however I a have really mixed feelings about this – I feel protected in my IVA, I feel secure – I am living well within my budget set and at the end of the month when the bank still says yes to a withdrawal of £10 I can smile ………. so why am I still nervous ?? I think it is cos I am scared of going back to my old ways – having come so far and not missed a payment into our IVA, I know that we can live easily within our salaries – but already we are both saying we will do this, we will do that when…..I’m scared we will fall back into our old habits?
I have spoken to my family and assured them this won’t happen – I am even considering setting up a standing order into an account in my mum’s name to pay across 80% of what our IVA was a month so that we can’t physically spend this money – but then I think NO ! Don’t be silly….you have lived within your budget for three years, you have gathered six months rent up and paid this across in a lump sum every six months – we haven’t been late in doing that at all and we haven’t had to dip in and out of it – so I suppose we have shown we can do it !
Actually I think what it is, is the lack of confidence I have within me !

At work today, the team of managers at a meeting with me were going off for a lunch together – a couple of them know of my situation and I spoke to them quietly and said I wouldn’t be going – I felt ackward as I was the only one that didn’t go, but actually I was proud of myself for saying no – I could easily have gone spent £15 on lunch…but then I thought about it and said NO – it is bank holiday this weekend and that £15 could mean the difference of hubbie and I having a couple of drinks in the pub over the weekend ! Three and half years ago I would have been at the pub first and bought the drinks !

I suppose what I am trying to say is – be proud, be confident and be truthful to yourself while in an IVA – it is an experience that I am sure you will benefit from in the future.

As you now I am waiting to finish my IVA due to inheritance – the sale of the property which we had been given confidence by three estate agents has yet to happen – it fact only two couples have viewed ! As executors we will consider lowering the price come September 1st and hopefully it will then sell !
Life in our IVA continues to be a mix of happiness and reality – happy that things are coming towards the end, but reality that we will be back to having the disposable income that we had when we got into our mess before !
We have sat down and worked out our plan, and reviewed our current budget and also written a wish list – we have then prioritised our wish list and ensured that our wishes are not things that we do not need ! First thing on the agenda is to replace one of the cars, and the second is to get the mortgage and buy our own home ! Oh how want to be able to open my own front door and know it is ours and not someone eleses – the ability to paint a colour on a wall rather than cream !
I was asked this week by family that know whether we would ever go back to our old ways – I strongly sat there and said absolutely NO way – if anything I have become a saver and am encouraged each month when the car money and the contigency money goes away ! Ilook forward to the day where for one month only we will spend our IVA money – but thereon in after we will continue to live in a budget situation – we will continue to save and ensure we live within our means !
For those just starting out the real reward of a IVA in my opinion are the lessons you learn to appreciate things more and to live within your means and budget each week !

Everything has been going ok ….until now. Review paperwork was submitted over a fortnight ago and today had a call to say payments need to be increased by £100. After a lengthy debate we settled on an increase of £41 per month – not sure where this is coming from but better than the first option ! I have tried compare.com to see where I can save some money but alas no. I have already tightened our food belts, and our going out budget is non existant anyway…..the little we had saved towards xmas has been spent on our cars as we have both had issues that needed resolving – petrol for the two cars is costing more and more -both need our cars to get to work and we both need to drive for work between sites – filled both up and it came to £125 !
In addition we have been told because of the inheritance that is due to me we will have to pay £20,000 in statutory interest ! That has hit hard – we were planning on using that £20k to help with a deposit on a house – why is it you always take 10 steps forwards but 20 back !

Am off work for a couple of days to look after nieces now – thinking what I can do that is cheap and cheerful – youngest niece is sports mad so thought I would introduce her to the golf range – bucket of balls £4 and a can of drink – change of a fiver !
Still never mind – we are still alive, and in a few months time I will be able to hold my head up high and say I have paid it all back ! We spent it so we have to pay it is my motto but it hurts that extra £20k in interest ! Why were we so silly !

Why oh why did I have to say we had surplus at the end of last month ! This week has been a disaster !

As I have to travel best part of 300 miles a week for work, we decided to swap cars this week so off to work I went in hubbies car to run a few miles up on that and to give mine a rest !
Hubby rings me soon after I arrived at work to say he had had an accident – one of the tyres had burst in my car as he was driving along the relief road ! He wasn’t hurt and no one else involved !
Off to the garage he went in the hope that we could have a relatively cheap replacement tyre – but alas no – it soon added up to £100 – so there goes the xmas savings I had made only a few days before ! My car MOT is due and service, the tax is due this month too – suddenly we have gone from looking rosie in the bank to looking a little concerned – a week to before hubby get’s paid and it is looking like we will have a few pence left this go round rather than pounds !
Still better to be a few pence left than none at all !
Been shopping for food today – decided to tryAldi – got quite alot for £20 – lots of frozen bits that will see us through a couple of weeks or so – it’s amazing how you can tighten your belts when you have to !

Hubbies birthday tomorrow – card written (same one as last year….in same envelope – just added an extra couple of xx (in a different colour!) )…….w have done this now for three years so that we do not waste money unnecessarily ! Bought him a present – three new pairs of pants !!! well he needed new ones ! Still maybe next year we will be in a better position and I can afford to take him away for his birthday – well a girl can dream can’t she !

I cannot believe we are just about to pay our 36th payment – alongside this month is a whopping £181 extra due to overtime I have done -just quickly checked the account and we are still £200 up this month ! Why??? It does not make sense – all DD’s and SO’s paid – I know I have been at work weekends so haven’t done a proper shop, nor have we had to fill hubbies car with petrol this week as he has had a lift ….really pleased – have put aside £100 towards xmas – if only every month was like this !

Having received guidance from forum members around getting a mortgage in an IVA or just out of an IVA, I approached several mortgage brokers on line. One has responded to me today and given me some hope for the future !
All I need do now is wait for the inheritance to hit the bank and then we can approach them for a “in principle” decision. Apparently there is one lender currently supporting people in our position and last week they approved three mortgages for different people with similar circumstances – I am so happy that we may be able to get back on the housing market !

On another note – I had to spend time at work today with a member of staff – not realising why they were so distressed at first – it soon became apparent – they have their IVA meeting this week ! I came clean and shared my story with them – by doing so it has given them the confidence to go forwards and not to be embarrassed about what others might think !
I was able to give her suggestions on cutting costs / living within a budget and best of all – how to still have fun despite the lack of extra money ! She went away far happier ! It’s not all bad in an IVA !

This is the first weekend I have had at home since Easter – how nice it is too ! Had chance to catch up with family and friends, do some jobs that have wanted to be done for ages and had time to relax and have a glass of wine !

We received our request for annual review documentation on Thursday – luckily I keep everything together in a folder so when it is needed it is a matter of a quick copy of the data and off it goes – I suddenly realised that this could be my last annual review and spent time reading through my initial proposal and chairman’s report – it was quite a shock to read the story about why it all happened – it got me thinking about life after the IVA – and I panicked – I was thinking all sorts and looking for reassurance from hubbie that we were changed people and that we would not go back to old ways !

I have a short term aim and a long term aim – short term I want to visit Dublin next March/April time for a long weekend – this will be the first non-tent trip we have taken for years – pot by the bed with loose change in slowly increasing each week !
My long term aim is to have a new car – well 2nd hand – but one of those that the roof comes down into the boot – always wanted a sports car – but determined I can’t have it until I have saved for it !

It is good to have dreams / aims – it helps you focus on living through your IVA.
Next weekend will the 23 years since my dad passed away – I was only a 14 when he died – I often wonder if my spending had something to do with that as well! I was very close to my dad, and since the IVA I have spent alot of time in prayer with him to help me through the weeks and months – I carry a photo of him in my purse and everytime I open it I hear his voice ” do you really need it” – a number of times I have shut my purse and returned the goods to the shelf – last week we wanted to buy some racking for the shed so that we can store all the camping stuff off the floor – we went to several shops and what we would have paid in the past was over £150 – this time we went for the budget stuff and it cost us £30 – a real sense of achievement !

I have spent time going through my posts on the forum over the years and it is really good to see all the positive comments I have received over time – I am also looking forward to supporting those of you still to enter the IVA journey and will do what I can to share my experiences with you all x

Having worked all day yesterday, I went to bed exhausted last night – thinking I would sleep for England !  But alas no ! 

It was 4.30am – my mind was racing, I tossed and turned ……why ??  It appears that I was in a dream – I had gone back five years and was at the Next Sale – it was the first day and I hurried around the store with my bag and kept loading things into it – my niece would like that, my nephew that…..etc etc – off to the till and the card came out – credit card that is – “that will be “£220 please” – in goes the pin number and off I go thinking I have got loads of bargains !

Three weeks later the post arrives and bill needs paying – as with all the other cards I pay the absolute minimum – chuffed with myself that I have paid the bill !

All the other bills then arrive and I suddenly realise that yeeks…..we have no money to pay for anything – we have no food in the cupboard and don’t even have a petrol in the car – three weeks till pay day ! 

Realisation sets in and I scour the web sites for people that can help – we come across a few and make a few calls and settle on one route – the IVA Journey !

Six weeks later the IVA is approved, we have a budget to live on and we feel the pressure has lifted – we can now move forward !
End of the dream ….reality – the dream came true – IVA has been the most postive step we have ever taken and has helped us to resolve our spending habits !  I did go to the Next sale yesterday at 5am on my way to work – but spent only £50 – this bought hubbies lots of goodies and a few xmas presents !  I had such a positive feeling leaving the shop with my one carrier bag – and best of all the £50 had been saved up over the last six months in coppers / loose change that I had entered into a pot !

Just shows that IVA’s can be magic ! Our’s certainly is !

Since Christmas I have been really feeling the pressure - my godmother died very suddenly, and at the time I did not really appreciate the relationship I had with her. Having to clear the house following jer death has really made me appreciate everything I have. 

It was the first time since our IVA commenced that I have had a series of bad luck and it has bought it all home to me – the enourmnity of our debt !  We started our IVA life in September 2007 paying a massive £1270 per month back – we got to grips with the necessary budgeting and in time we got used to saying “do we really need”…”if we buy that, we can’t have the other” – very quickly I found it encouraging at the end of the month when I reviewed our bank account to see instead of being £3000+ in overdraft we were actually £5 in credit, sometimes a little more !

It soon became a challenge to save the figure at the end of the month, and also at every opportunity a few pence were put away in a tin and not counted until six months later!

We had a few issues along the way – had to sell our house and my car as part of the conditions for the IVA to be approved – but actually on reflection that helped us to focus on what was important – and that was to get our lives back on track and to be happy but in credit rather than in debt ! Our landlord was repossessed twice and we had to move in quick succession – we have now been in our current flat for just over two years and all appears to be ok.

Our I&E has been reviewed each year, and each year we have provided evidence of the increase in our expenditure – we have continued to liaise with our IP throughout and pay over any extra due to overtime or bonuses as we have received them -so far this totals £7000 !   We have raised issues as they have arisen, asked questions when we have needed a second opinion – and have used the forum as a bible – the forum has been invaluable to share our experiences and to have our questions answered – sometimes I have given advice to others to – sometimes people have not agreed with what I have said, and likewise I have always agreed – however the froum remains a vital part of my life and it is like a comfort blanket.

 My god mother passed away very suddenly at xmas last year, and I immediately turned to the forum for support – the comments and messages I received were a tremendous strength to me and helped me get through those early days.  Six months on now since her passing, and I have today finally removed the last items of her furniture and sent them to auction – it has hit be again today being in her house how much I miss her – however knowing what the next step will be in my life gives me reassurance that she would be proud of the way I have dealt with the situation – she was not aware of our debt situation, however her kind generosity is going to see us right in the future – I would much rather she be with us still – however the support the forum offers goes some distance in replacing her – thank you all !

I am looking forward to my debt free life – however I am also apprehensive – I do not want to go down the slippery slope again and I am keen to be able to manage our spends, albeit a little more generously than now, enabling us to do a few things – and who knows – for those of you that read my blog from the start and have seen the whole reason for our debt was the trying for a baby – just maybe I might persuade the other half to consider adoption when this is all put to bed – what a result that would be ! 

Thank you forum members / thank you for reading my blog – you are a lifesaver !