Today is going to be a difficult day….in December my god mother passed away suddenly leaving behind a close friend who lived with her, myself and a few cousins. She had no children of her own.
Today we (her friend, my mum and I) are going to scatter her ashes at the same spot that her parents were scattered. Having not done this before I am not at all sure what to expect. I am scared, nervous and apprehensive all in one !
All similar feelings to how I was back in 2007 when I finally admitted to my husband the position we had found ourselves in with our debts. Now almost three years into our IVA, we are facing the end of our IVA due to the generosity of my god mother ! When her estate has been resolved (probate etc) we will be in the position to end our IVA -paying back 100% of our debt.
How do I feel about that ? Well it goes without saying relieved, however I am beginning to get the feeling of nerves again - the thought of being debt free. I have learnt so much over the last three years, and with the inability to have credit, I have managed our finances extremely well - we have not defaulted or paid late at any time, and with overtime I have managed to pay in nearly £7k extra - however although hubbie and I do not want to go back to the old ways, we are beginning to think about buying our own home again, buying a new car, going on a holiday somewhere warm - those dreams are great in one breathe, but in the next I then get panicked as I don’t want to return to debt in anyway ! I am a stronger willed person now when I go shopping - knowing I only have £180 per week for fuel, food and essential things helps me to stay focused……after the IVA we will have £1200 a month “spare” as such - can I stay as strong willed ?
The answer to this is YES - I have already set up a savings account in readiness for £1000 per month to be added to enable us to save for our deposit for a house. As our IVA won’t be cleared from record until late 2013, I can’t envisage us getting our own place again until 2014……by which time a nice some of money will have been saved.
I have a coin tin that you can only open if you destroy the tin - anything less than a 50p coin goes in this at the end of each week, and any money left over from our £180 a week is added to the pot. Any overtime we do we immediately hand over the 50% to the IVA company, and our 50% is then split into two again - one half we spend, the other goes in the savings pot !
I suppose what I am trying to say is those feelings of nerves, apprehension etc are normal - and don’t just exist in pre-IVA days. They are present in all of our lives, BUT having been in an IVA for nearly three years they are alot easier to deal with, and what life throws at you is more manageable as you have already overcome a huge problem in your life, just by acknowledging the debts and asking for help !
Life does go on, in an IVA and after an IVA - but what changes is our habit to spend money !�